In fifth grade, I was sitting in the fourth seat of Mrs. Wilson’s history class with my arm raised high — I wanted this question. Today, we were going over state capitals. I was in my bright orange, UVA sweatshirt, squirming with the answer to, “What’s the capital of Virginia?”
I thought this would be a piece of cake.
I went four times a year to visit my grandparents in Virginia, plus I had my UVA sweatshirt on, how could I not get this right?
Mrs. Wilson pointed her overly long index finger at me.
Go time.
I felt like I’d just rushed from the car to the gas station bathroom, after holding it for thirty minutes while my dad searched for an exit with a QT.
Immediately, I uttered, “Charl…”
Dangit.
I froze.
I knew the minute those letters came out of my mouth that they were like orange juice with pulp — sour and wrong.
My cheeks felt like I’d been sitting in front of a fire roasting s’mores all night and my stomach shriveled up.
I rushed to sit back down without saying anything more.
Ugh, how could I do that??
I knew Charlottesville was not the capital of Virginia, but to me, Charlottesville was THE only place one would visit in Virginia. Much like, Charlotte was the capital of North Carolina. Who goes to Raleigh?
Richmond didn’t have the University of Virginia.
Nor the Rotunda hand-crafted by Thomas Jefferson.
Nor Cav Man on Saber storming the field before football games.
And not even the melt-in-your-mouth-3-foot-bags of hand-spun kettle corn.
I had gotten so excited that my mind blanked and I defaulted to what was second nature to me.
My mind tripped over my words in public.
I was so embarrassed.
This is one of many reasons why I grew to dislike public speaking.
It wasn’t until I started podcasting a year and a half ago that I felt l could comfortably talk in front of a large group.
I wouldn’t say I’m alone in this.
77% of the US population has anxiety surrounding public speaking. That’s more than just a few people.
We’re taught to be fearful of speaking in public. Not because we will get physically injured, but because of the social anxiety surrounding forgetting words, not delivering the punchline correctly, or keeping the crowd awake. In school, kids laugh when you say something wrong or trip over your words. Teachers will sometimes correct them, but the damage is already done.
Unfortunately, public speaking is an important part of life and people need to know how to do it. The solutions to this dilemma I see don’t come with a timer or end date, but are instead more approachable ways for people to begin getting comfortable with speaking in front of others:
Schools can require students to take a public speaking course, but teach it in a way that's nurturing and where only positive feedback/ critiques are given.
Take a personal public speaking course (https://ultraspeaking.com/) — for adults
Create something that allows for you to use your voice (YouTube, Podcasting, Writing)
This week’s podcast featured Eddie Pinero, the creator of Your World Within (251k YouTube subs + 5 mil Spotify listens). Eddie creates motivational and inspirational content through audio and videos to help athletes, creators, and anyone else.
3 Nuggets from this week
1. Steal your time back
Everything on your phone is designed to capture your attention for as long as possible. Strip your phone of color, by turning the grayscale on, to win some back. I don’t mind it except it ruins looking at pictures.
iPhone: Accessibility > Display & Text Size > check Color Filters on > tap on Grayscale
Android: Settings > Digital Wellbeing & Parental Controls > Wind Down > Grayscale
2. Retain what you read
In this video, Ryan Holiday goes over how he read books and takes notes. I personally like the system, but don’t want to carry notecards around with me. Instead, I use Notion to digitally store my notes. The best part about notetaking in such a way is that it allows you to connect dots that otherwise would not have been visible.
3. Bleachers - Stop Making This Hurt
A wonderful song about knowing there’s a way out of pain, depression, or any slew of shitty situations, but deciding to not do anything about it. It’s a conversation with yourself to stop beating yourself up and going through the negative feedback loops and instead, kick down the doors to begin living anew. It’s a I-need-to-make-a-change-right-now kind of song.
Quote of the week:
“Some things you will outgrow, and then you will miss them, but that’s ok (and doesn’t mean that you should go back).” - Craig Clemens
Keep rising,
JTM